A Child’s Voice


In a box in the loft 400 girls in a tight scroll, yellowed and thumbed at the corners.
Open it up and it whips back shut. Snaps at your fingers like a nasty little dog.
Your little furrowed brow in a face-full of spectacles on the end of the second row.
That one there, she spat on my specs on the way to the festival hall and Phyliss Sellick came out in blue crépe de chine and played Schuman’s piano concerto and I cried.
I was nearly sick on the coach on the way back, I didn’t want to go back and she sat on my hat and pretended to wipe her arse with it. She’s there on the front row. I threw her over my shoulder in judo in lower 5a but I couldn’t get Sarah down, she was too tall. She had dental braces and bits of white got stuck in the bands.
I could wipe them all out. Blot them out. Paint over their faces. Screw up my face tight so I can’t see them.
But they wont go. Eyes noses mouths pushing up through the paint. We’re suffocating too. Look at me look at me. Hair torn out, nails chewed, anorexic. Look. Don’t leave us here. Please don’t leave us here.
All those little girls growing good and bad and shredded and obscenely successful and hidden behind doors. Rolled up in their lofts and out of sight out of mind. Out of our minds.
But open the roll and we’ll snap shut snap at you or tear at your heart or abandon you and you’ll never know why. Or we will stand on a podium and tell you what’s good for you and that education is a privilege and it never did us any harm oh no.
 
Do you remember Flo? She went out of her mind and the teacher said she’d never make anything of herself. She had PTSD for 3 years after she left. And Ginny-cardboard-tights is still in a mental home. 

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Evolution

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Dear Beethoven by Bike friends. It is nearly 6 years since I set out with Sir Galahad.

The journey had many chapters and my life was truly enriched by the countries, landscapes and people I encountered.

The journey has continued, of course and in different forms.

Recently I have decided to place my “journeying” under one umbrella, which will be called “Journey as Art”

Beethoven by Bike seekers and followers, you will be directed automatically to this page, which has a more up to date look and will be a bit more versatile.

So don’t be put off if at first you do not see quite what you expected to see….. all is well, and I hope you will like the new look.

There may be one or two teething issues while people far cleverer than myself beaver away behind the scenes to make it all come together. Please be patient.

It’ll mean that there will be more space to organise and display my art work and I will easily be able to flag up events etc.

Looking forward to the next steps.

Greetings and gratitude

JennY

 

 

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Evolution

Dear Beethoven by Bike friends. It is nearly 6 years since I set out with Sir Galahad. 

The journey had many chapters and my life was truly enriched by the countries, landscapes and people I encountered. 

The journey has continued, of course and in different forms. 

Recently I have decided to place my “journeying” under one umbrella, which will be called “Journey as Art”

Beethoven by Bike seekers and followers, you will be directed automatically to this page, which has a more up to date look and will be a bit more versatile. 

So don’t  be put off if at first you do not see quite what you expected to see….. all is well, and I hope you will like the new look. 

There may be one or two teething issues while people far cleverer than myself beaver away behind the scenes to make it all come together. Please be patient. 

It’ll mean that there will be more space to organise and display my art work and I will easily be able to flag up events etc. 

Looking forward to the next steps. 

Greetings and gratitude

Jenny

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Hanging out with our Hands 

Please forgive my absence from these pages for so long.

I have been immersed in my Alexander Technique studies. 

After a truly inspiring fortnight in Germany with my new friends and colleagues in the German Alliance, I am looking forward to sharing the wealth of variety that I have been absorbing. 

Hanging out with our Hands” will be a lovely playful and profound way to explore many aspects of our hands and how they serve us. 

Do join me, share this with anyone who may be interested or invite me to your area!

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Test

Just testing

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Masks

There’s a lot you can do with wax. 

Layers and layers. 

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Ermattet, Klagend. Opus 110 / demolition

I’m just home, no, not quite “home”. Rather, back from a meeting where the subject was boarding school; and that which lurks behind the smile of survival. There was a picture of school trunks. I am still feeling very sick and shaky. 

Seemed an idea to look again at the work in progress. 

The wisdom of wax and casting of shadow. 

My little mannequins have been dipped, and the mask behind the mask, drenched. 

Indescribable, really.

Earlier the moon and the cathedral were so beautiful, while just yards away the Clarence hotel gaped in sad demolition. 

Sanctuary and dereliction in one and the same place. 


“Ermattet, Klagend”

(Exhausted, weeping)

Beethoven writes as his instruction for the second time round of the arioso dolente in the middle section of opus 110. 

He was almost demolished by despair over his failing health, yet rose in sheer will to blast his way out in the final fugue. 

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