Transition contd. Life style changing/experiments
Today I have managed to keep it simple and not get too bogged down with “what to do?” thoughts.
These can be enough to stop me getting out of bed, while I try to decide whether to get straight on with breakfast or tidy something up first or a stray, fleeting “I must……” that forgets itself too quickly but which distracts me from all of the above enough to send me straight back to my dithering square one and a little more time under the duvet!
Sometimes it’s something too racy on radio 3 that prompts the big leap…. “OFF with the radio and let’s get on”
This is both the beauty and the challenge of having set myself this open ended space in which to adjust. No pressing commitments, no time constraints. What to do? With my restless, fidgety spirit ( usually the perferct excuse to evade the boring bits or the things I am too lazy to tackle) snorting a bit like a tethered mare, and churning up the dirt in the background, I have peacefully swept the floor and bathed my heel and done some hand washing… sat and looked out of the window at the beautiful trees in the mist. . . listened to an eminent musician speaking about rehearsal and collaboration. This is very soothing!
AND, a triumph, had a lovely soft boiled egg for breakfast, with tea, hot and on time to go with it!
Does this sound dreadfully dull and pedantic? It’s just that my life has always been SO full with wonderful projects and THINGS and that little inner voice has been for years, quietly saying ” when are you going to stop and be still for long enough to decide how you want to live?”
This is it! This is the time, isn’t it?
So while my busy brain turns a few cartwheels for the future ( voluntary work/usefulness in the world/bike tour with group in southern China/family needs attention/what will I do about old age? etc etc) I have for the present, almost deliberately restricted myself with being in a rural location, and am unexpectedly unable to get myself about because of my heel… this wasn’t in my plan at all, but I am grateful for the opportunity to face the unfamiliar barriers and see if I can settle with less.
It is of course a wonderful time to reflect on and review the year that has flown by. Perhaps it’s time to start gathering photos and pictures and pinning them to diary entires. A big job… ha! Something to DO. Cheerful idea.
These BIG JOBS. Big sigh of overwhelm and tiredness sweeps in.
“WAH! I am so not a desk, writing type” she doth protest.
Ok. Then maybe a routine of a little bit at a time is a good plan. “Oh YUK who wants routine?!”
Some of you have been encouraging me to keep writing about transition.
It is quite hard to capture the confusing array of feelings, as they wash in and out very quickly and it is not wise to cast anything in stone.
It does seem valuable to give them all space and then to keep going with simply looking after those basics that attend to good health. Food, rest, exercise, companionship, in no particular order, trusting that those good-natured angels of the journey will also make their marvelous contribution.