More Thaw. 

Starting to work on the boarding school exhibition again. Such an amazing, healing process, to pay attention to my old school photograph. 


…. And to experiment with some variations on the metaphors of “facelessness ” 
Complicity. Institutionalism. “Blind spot”

” Masks” “Gagging” “speechless” 


Obliteration. It has brought feelings of guilt, rage and then gradual, gentle resolution. 

Painting little masks on the girls and blindfolds in the staff made me feel like a terrorist. An act of violence. Besides, the ink on the photocopy kept slipping through. The features seemed not to want to be painted out and kept coming back!

To be so caught up in such nastiness feels horrible. It no longer feels relevant or “me” … How I want to be. 
I don’t want to drag the past around with me in a way that breeds anger. 

So, 

Rather than “deface” I have finally been re-facing. Paying attention to every feature of each girl. 

Just the way a collar sits or rides askew tells a story. Multiply by 400!

Touching these faces with my brush feels like a beautiful, healing acknowledgment as I begin to thaw and feel myself a part of something which all those years ago made me feel so alienated. 

I shall probably have to paint all of them now….. Here are the first 130 or so. 


What it is to paint from such a place.

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